If someone were to tell you on your face that you are holding back your own success, you’d probably wish you could tell him to shut up and get lost .
Why would you sabotage your efforts? It doesn’t make sense right?
He could be right. Can’t you accept a frank opinion?
You, like almost everyone else, want a better lifestyle, more money, good health and meaningful relationships. And like many of them, it’s likely that you are only putting in half the efforts.
Take your health for example. If you want good health but your diet consists of processed foods, you are doing it the wrong way. If a toned body is what you seek to achieve but you’d rather sit in front of the television instead of taking that brisk walk at least 3 times a week, you can forget your dream.
Maybe you want prosperity or wealth. You know you have to seek the knowledge and skills. But, you put it off because you want to wait for the appropriate time or opportunity. Or you want your relationships to work but you won’t listen. You whine, nag and cry.
If you continue with this attitude and behavior, you’re moving towards self-destruction.
Can you do something about it? Can you stop further damage to your mediocre and uneventful life with very little growth and success?
Of course you can.
Self-sabotage has a lot to do with limiting beliefs that are ingrained in your subconscious mind. You don’t believe in yourself. You think of yourself as unworthy of success, be it losing weight or accumulating wealth. You don’t realize this and you wonder what’s wrong.
You can trace back to your growing up years. You may have been told too often that you don’t deserve what some others do. You may have been brought up to accept things without questioning them. You were made to believe that you were born to serve and you should put your interest aside.
You believe them and what they said.
But they are no longer telling you now. You can go against what you’ve been told.
How to Stop Self-Sabotage
1. Identify the Underlying Reason
Breathe deeply. Focus on your breathing. Relax and be still. In that quiet moment, ask yourself a question such as “Why can’t I lose weight?” Or say something like “I want more money?”
Listen within. What do you hear?
There are internal talks and voices going on inside telling you what you shouldn’t and can’t do and why.
Whose voices are those? Who is talking to whom? Only you can answer that.
Look further within. What do you see? Whose face appears on your mental screen? What was your feeling like when you hear those voices?
The enemy who is obstructing your chances to succeed is not the people, the government or whatever system you think it is. It is you. It’s your thinking, your memories and past mental programming. If you can accept that truth, then you are ready to take deliberate action to fight back.
2. Consciously Change Your Thoughts
You can overcome self sabotage by consciously and repeatedly giving new instructions and positive suggestions to the subconscious mind which stores all beliefs and memories. To successfully achieve this, you must quiet the conscious mind which is forever distracting, reasoning your actions and filtering your thoughts.
You can quiet your mind by slowing down your brainwaves through deep breathing exercise, deep meditation, hypnosis, or brainwave entrainment program.
When you brainwaves have slowed down and you body is relaxed, your mind is receptive to new suggestions. Take this opportunity to affirm positive statements and to visualize a new you. If you find it hard to do it yourself, you can listen to a subliminal messages recording or self-hypnosis. It provides positive self-suggestions to override your old mental programming.
3. Be Aware and Alert of Your Thoughts
If you are aware of what is going on in you head, you can gain control over your subconscious mind and stop most of your self-sabotaging behaviors like procrastination.
One of the ways to interrupt your thoughts and excuses is to go against your self-talk by doing what it says you can’t do or shouldn’t do.
Another method to overcome self-sabotage is to question your thought or belief.
Let’s just say that your inner self is telling you something like, “I don’t think I can do it,” ask yourself “What makes me so sure that I can’t do it?”
Your mind may come up with an answer such as, “Remember, you tried it once and you failed?”
What you want to do is keep questioning until you arrive at a point when you say to yourself something like, “Of course I can do and I will do it.”
You can also keep a journal and monitor your self-sabotaging behaviors. List the things that you must do or should do. At the end of the day, write down the reasons why you didn’t do them. You may come up with several excuses. Look at them and examine what is the actual reason. If you are honest, you may discover that you were actually afraid of something.
Monitor yourself and at the end of the week and month, look at your behavioral pattern and excuses and also your progress.
It is not an easy task to change your subconscious programming. But it is doable. You can start by taking small steps. If you don’t give up on yourself, you will eventually reprogram your subconscious mind with new and empowering thoughts.