When you accept yourself unconditionally, you don’t need to seek approval from others. You won’t crave attention and love from others. It will also help you understand and accept other people.
The higher a person’s self-acceptance, the higher is his or her self esteem. Self-acceptance is closely associated with psychological well being.
A person who rejects herself normally feels incompetent, unloved, unacceptable, undesirable and incapable.
Cultivating self-acceptance will boost your self-esteem and build self-love.
12 Tips on How to Accept Yourself.
1. You can never be perfect and therefore you must stop being self-critical. Change the way you’ve been looking at you. Think well of yourself. Avoid picking yourself apart and criticizing based on your memories and other people’s opinions about you. Find the good and attractive parts of you. Reassure yourself that you are OK.
2. Affirming positive statements helps replace negative self-talk and self-criticisms. You can repeatedly affirm statements such as, “I choose to accept and love myself” or “I choose to focus on my positive qualities and strengths.” Your reticular activating system or RAS in your brain will help you notice your good qualities.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others. What you will find will make you feel inadequate because your mind will block you from seeing your strengths and talents. It will then cause you to feel insecure, anxious and stressful. Instead of making comparison, look at your accomplishments. Give yourself compliments for your achievements, no matter how small they are.
4. Discover your personal values or what you stand for. Some examples are integrity, forgiving, responsible and respect. If you have strong values to live by, you will do things because you want to do them and not because you want to please or seek approval from other people. Your values will help you make better decisions and make it easy for you to accept, cope and adapt.
5. It is important that you acknowledge yourself as a worthy person. Get rid of shyness and self-consciousness. You must keep telling yourself that your views and ideas matter. So start working on improving your self-esteem and self-confidence.
6. Examine your beliefs by listening to your-self talk and noticing how you feel and react when you make a mistake or when you assume that someone rejects, judges or criticizes you. Question your beliefs and challenge them. Otherwise, you’ll think that you are never good enough.
7. Change your expectations. Remember that you attract whatever it is that you expect. Remove the thoughts that people will reject you and your opinions. Know that you are capable and worthy, just like everyone else.
8. Expect the best from others and accept people for what they are. They don’t have to agree with your values and rules because they have their own. Stop being judgmental and critical and start respecting other people’s views. Accept that they are unique human beings just like you are.
9. Have faith and trust your judgments. You don’t need anyone’s approval. So what if some people don’t agree with you. It is their prerogative. So what if you have made mistakes in the past. You are not your mistakes. Remember that the past does not equal the future. You can start over anytime, if you choose to.
10. Remove negative labels and statements that you have placed upon yourself such as “I am a shy person,” “I am stupid,” or “I am not good at anything.” These personal identities make you feel inferior. Start developing a new and positive self-image.
11. Learn to take personal responsibility. Your parents and those involved in your upbringing may have contributed to who you are and what you have become today. But you have to put a stop to the blame game. It is up to you now to change your past mental conditioning and be more than what you have allowed yourself to believe.
12. Forgive and stop fighting yourself. Don’t carry your mistakes and errors in the past to the present. Whatever you did before was based on your knowledge and beliefs then. And you must stop punishing yourself. At the same time, forgive people who have made you feel rejected, unloved and who told you that you aren’t good enough. Not only will you develop self-acceptance, you will also gain peace of mind.
There are parts of you that you can change and work on to improve. There are also parts of you such as your past experiences and mistakes that you can’t alter. Don’t allow your attachments to the past direct your life in the present. You deserve to be happy, have loving relationships, and be at peace with yourself.