Grief caused by the loss of a loved one creates extreme sorrow, sadness and mental anguish. Usually immediately after, you will go through a state of shock and feeling numb, not believing or refusing to accept it
Once he or she is laid to rest, you will then feel a deep sense of loss, accepting that she is really dead and that you will never, ever see her again.
The next stage of your grieving process is the feeling of separation, emptiness and loneliness. During this period of bereavement, your life seems to revolve around yourself. You will feel remorse, bitter, angry, and lonely. You will fall into the self-pity trap. You have no energy and motivation. Tears may fall easily and you’ll feel like your whole body is also weeping.
5 Ways to Deal with Grief and Loss of Someone You Love.
Accept your feeling and acknowledge that you can survive the feeling of grief. Your next task is to push it behind so as to avoid undue stress that can accelerate illness and instability. You can never get your dear one back but you can start your life anew. Try again to make your life wholesome.
2. Go Through the Grieving Process
You don’t have to pretend that the pain, anger, guilt and sadness are not there. Go through the stages of grieving and really feel the emotions.
3. Get Support
The person, who used to do things together, laughed and cried with you, has left a void both in your heart and mind. You will also feel the empty space around you physically. Get support to avoid deteriorating further physically, mentally and emotionally.
Connect with the other members of your family, your friends and people who work with you or who share common interest. Reach out, join support groups and contribute your time and energy to make life better for yourself and others.
4. Keep Busy
It is tough in the early stages of mourning. You aren’t even motivated to get up in the morning, begin the day and look forward and get through each passing moment. But you must push yourself. Get back to what you were doing. Go back to your job, to school or whatever.
If you are unemployed because you can afford to live without a job, go out and find something to do. Join communities near you and get involved in any activity to get you away from your nest. Develop a circle of new friends and create new interests.
5. Plan Anew and Look Forward
You will go through many private moments when you are alone. You can use the time to mourn over your loss, brood and sulk, which is unproductive, or examine what you can do to put joy back into your life. Refuse to allow your life to go on automatic. Use this solitary period to plan out new goals or outline a different direction. Think of the things that you have wanted to do and work on it.
If you put in the effort, you will soon feel eager to start the day again. You will open yourself to enjoy your own company and that of others. The day when tears of sadness no longer come easily when thoughts of your loved one appear is a positive sign of recovery.
As I mentioned earlier, it is not easy to deal with grief. Your supportive friends and family will help you go through the process and make the pain more bearable. How long it will take to overcome your grief depends on you.
I end this post with these words about losing someone you can’t live without.
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” – Anne Lamott