Change is unavoidable because everyone will go through many phases in life. Changes happen in relationships, family life and working life.
People fall out of love, some lose their jobs, parents remarry, children leave home and women will go through menopause. These changes will cause some sort of emotional pain and stress.
Dealing with change is never easy especially when something happens unexpectedly.
One of the first reactions is shock or taken aback. You will feel upset. The next stage is resisting, fighting back or refusing to accept. This is usually followed by anger, resentment or sadness, depending on what took place. At this stage and depending on the level of emotional pain, some people may accept, after consideration.
Some will take a longer time but will finally do. And there are also people who will not get over it.
You can find many of these “walking wounded” carrying their emotional baggage in life. And because they haven’t learned to handle changes, they tend to be the ones who are the loudest to resist anything new or different.
4 Tips for Dealing with Change in Your Personal Life.
1. Accept that Change is Inevitable
One of the first things to do is to acknowledge that it is inevitable. Life is about change and growth. Almost everything that breathe and live will go through some kind of transformation.
The change may not benefit you. It may even hurt you.
But, make an effort to focus on the things you can control. If you continue to feel upset, angry or in denial, you are putting a lot of stress in your life.
The one thing that you have and can control is your response.
You can control your thoughts. You can manage your emotions. You can choose to think of something more empowering and uplifting. When you feel better, you can think clearer and make better decisions.
2. Reflect on It
If it is part of your nature to resist anything new or different, why not take a little time out for contemplation. Your resistance to accept change could have resulted from a past experience that affected you badly and made you feel fearful. Whenever something that looks similar appears, you react the same way without putting much thought to it.
Ask yourself why you resist without weighing the pros and cons. Why not look at the benefits it might bring. And tell yourself to give you or the change a chance to work before you deny it.
3. Embrace Change
Embracing change is difficult because you have to move out of your comfort zone. Nobody likes to lose something that is familiar. And this is what change is about.
Changes involve loss, either actual or perceived.
If you want to succeed in dealing with change in your life, don’t fight what you cannot change. Remind yourself that your happiness doesn’t depend on other people or events.
4. Adjust to Change
Get rid of the “poor me” mentality. Instead of thinking of what you have lost, focus on what to do next.
If you have lost your job, this is the opportunity for you to find another job or start a new career. It offers you an opportunity to start your own business and become your own boss. You have accumulated many years of working experience and specialized in certain skills. You can make use of them.
If you are going through a divorce, view the end of your marriage as a beginning of a new life. While you are struggling emotionally in the early stage, get moral support from your friends and family. At the same time, work on your self-esteem and rebuilding your life.
Examine your present situation and set new goals. Think through and plan out the action steps you can take to achieve them.
Write down your fears and potential challenges or obstacles that you foresee and list down possible solutions to overcome them.
Those who aren’t able to deal with change will still move on. They do it not because they want to but because they have to. But they carry with them the anger, guilt and remorse. Because they haven’t been able to accept and embrace change, they find it difficult to forgive and forget.
Don’t allow yourself to go through the stage of denial. Accept change and look forward to something new.